Real Recovery.

Recovery is hard. Everyday, every hour, sometimes each minute is a constant struggle! It does get easier as time passes, but we all have those days where you just need to break down and cry. A couple months ago I had one of those days. I felt fat, I felt ugly, and all I wanted to do was crawl back into the arms of my eating disorder. Instead I crawled into the arms of my support team. I could have hugged my loving mother and father for days as I cried. I just needed a release. I started writing poems to express these intense emotions. Here is a poem I wrote from that difficult day. You may like it, you may not, but it is an art form that has been a huge help in my recovery. 

I’m so lost and so confused

I keep trying but still lose

We all struggle, we all feel pain

I just can’t comprehend how others stay sane!

I want to punch I want to kick

I just want to return to being a stick

Is it normal to be this mad?

Is it normal to be this sad?

All I want is to be normal and trade this struggle I have

It’s too hard and I feel so weak

My Lord and Savior I seek

A cry for help I send

For I know this is not the end

It wont be easy, it wont be pie

But I wont give up, not till the day I die.

Thanks for reading!

-jac